So when I heard about the “Push Present” from an acquaintance a few years ago, I was too confused to react. What? Why? Didn’t you have a shower? or a Sprinkle? or some type of party where gifts rained down upon you for hours and people who failed art class made Sharpie marker-ed onsies for the little one in your womb??
The conversation went like this:
Me: “Are you excited? Two weeks until you are a mom? How’s Dan?”
She: “He’s fine, but better get me that Tiffany’s ring I have been looking at.”
Me: wide eyes, shocked face
She: “I really wanted a Rolex, but he said no. So I compromised.”
Me: “huh?”
She: “A push present silly. You know for giving birth? I will totally deserve it.”
I initially took issue with this because present or no the baby is coming out no matter what in all its slimy alien glory (the medical description) and what on earth kind of gift could make hours of labor pain and all kinds of pelvic badness (take that as far you want to go in your imagination) worth it? Oh wait… you get a baby! Isn’t that the deal?? The Miracle of life?? You need a gift too?
Nothing like a little blue box to really show you what the miracle of life is all about
Don’t get me wrong. I am all for presents. I frequently celebrate random life happenings with presents for my friends, boyfriend, family, and myself. In residency, it was well known that I gave myself a gift at the completion of each weekend or week of call (It was a celebration and a very well crafted indisputable coping mechanism, don’t judge.). But it seems the Push Present aka Baby Bauble totally misses the point.
Picture it in Labor and Delivery:
New mom on Facebook: “Introducing Elizabeth Lynn to world and my new David Yurman earrings.”
or better: “Yea she’s cute, Where’s my gift?”
Wildly popular, it appears that these tokens are here to stay. (Wikipedia = Truth)
North West’s parentals
Kanye recently did it to the tune of 770K and J Lo‘s push bauble was apparently around 3 mill. (maybe my friend’s Rolex wish wasn’t so out of line after all??)
And let’s not forget dad! He is one of the initial participants (Guys hate trying to make babies. It is so tough on them.). He could be in the waiting room, manning the video camera (this would never happen while I was giving birth. NO ONE and I repeat NO ONE needs to see that! Period the end. It will not be mentioned again), or he may have even driven his Baby Mama to hospital. For all that effort he surely deserves something.
For the record I would be a lot more behind this present if it was called The “I got you pickles in the middle of the night 12 times” gift. Apparently Dads for their push present want iPads and new cars. No way! I don’t know anyone that would like that as a gift. There are whole chat forums about this topic (which for the record I refuse to link because on the off chance I do have readers I cannot assault them with both Kanye and Kimye and a chat room in the same blog post).
Retailers assuredly were not the last to jump on this bandwagon. Everyone has gift ideas Amazon, Etsy, Parents.com, and even What to expect when expecting. The list of potential gifts is as long and luxurious as you want it to be. So I guess keep on keeping on. Let the sky be your limit and Kanye (he just always looks so pleasant) be your guide.
Every dad needs a push present.
whatreallyhappenswhennotlooking 
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