Tag Archives: Push Present

The Push Present that your Baby Mama deserves, but don’t forget Daddykins

27 Jun

push-present-600x527So when I heard about the “Push Present” from an acquaintance a few years ago, I was too confused to react. What? Why? Didn’t you have a shower? or a Sprinkle? or some type of party where gifts rained down upon you for hours and people who failed art class made Sharpie marker-ed onsies for the little one in your womb??

The conversation went like this:

Me: “Are you excited? Two weeks until you are a mom? How’s Dan?”
She: “He’s fine, but better get me that Tiffany’s ring I have been looking at.”
Me: wide eyes, shocked face
She: “I really wanted a Rolex, but he said no. So I compromised.”
Me: “huh?”
She: “A push present silly. You know for giving birth? I will totally deserve it.”

I initially took issue with this because present or no the baby is coming out no matter what  in all its slimy alien glory (the medical description) and what on earth kind of gift could make hours of labor pain and all kinds of pelvic badness (take that as far you want to go in your imagination) worth it? Oh wait… you get a baby! Isn’t that the deal?? The Miracle of life?? You need a gift too?


Nothing like a little blue box to really show you what the miracle of life is all about

Don’t get me wrong. I am all for presents. I frequently celebrate random life happenings with presents for my friends, boyfriend, family, and myself. In residency, it was well known that I gave myself a gift at the completion of each weekend or week of call (It was a celebration and a very well crafted indisputable coping mechanism, don’t judge.). But it seems the Push Present aka Baby Bauble totally misses the point.

Picture it in Labor and Delivery:
New mom on Facebook: “Introducing Elizabeth Lynn to world and my new David Yurman earrings.”

or better: “Yea she’s cute, Where’s my gift?”

Wildly popular, it appears that these tokens are here to stay. (Wikipedia = Truth)


North West’s parentals

Kanye recently did it to the tune of 770K and J Lo‘s push bauble was apparently around 3 mill.  (maybe my friend’s Rolex wish wasn’t so out of line after all??)

And let’s not forget dad! He is one of the initial participants (Guys hate trying to make babies. It is so tough on them.). He could be in the waiting room, manning the video camera (this would never happen while I was giving birth. NO ONE and I repeat NO ONE needs to see that! Period the end. It will not be mentioned again), or he may have even driven his Baby Mama to hospital. For all that effort he surely deserves something.

For the record I would be a lot more behind this present if it was called The “I got you pickles in the middle of the night 12 times” gift. Apparently Dads for their push present want iPads and new cars. No way! I don’t know anyone that would like that as a gift. There are whole chat forums about this topic (which for the record I refuse to link because on the off chance I do have readers I cannot assault them with both Kanye and Kimye and a chat room in the same blog post).

Retailers assuredly were not the last to jump on this bandwagon. Everyone has gift ideas Amazon, Etsy, Parents.com, and even What to expect when expecting. The list of potential gifts is as long and luxurious as you want it to be. So I guess keep on keeping on. Let the sky be your limit and Kanye  (he just always looks so pleasant) be your guide.

Every dad needs a push present.

Every dad needs a push present.


Courtly Love #3: I will never leave you..

3 Oct

 “I’ve always supported myself. I like the sense of knowing exactly where I stand financially, but there is a side of me that longs for a knight in shining armor.”  Barbara Feldon

Last but not least (and a long time coming) we have acts of devotion, i.e. gifts flowers, poems, songs, and an unknown category known as “sweet favors”.  I interpret this last bit as a wide range of possibilities, if you have ever been to a castle you know they had all kinds of hiding places where they could likely accomplish a lot.

This brings to mind that diamonds might have been a girl’s best friends for longer than we have realized. In modern times Hallmark has assisted new age knights in winning fair ladies favor, and possibly allowed them to become a bit lazy with the made to order “perfect” sentiments in close proximity to beautiful chocolate creations.

In addition to tangible objects and laments of love, men have continued to attempt to impress their women with stories of bravado and physical feats. Today, however, these tales have morphed somewhat and are of tough WoDs (workout of the day) from CrossFit.  Somehow the number of burpees and box jumps a man has completed in 15 minutes is way less sexy than the idea of him slaying a dragon or jousting some other dude (this could have something to do with running at each other with long sticks. Eeeekkk!!! Not that I advocate a man placing himself in danger in an attempt to win my favor). Usually these stories are finished with something akin to “Man, after only 90 seconds,  I was sweating like a beast!”  Hmmmm… 90 seconds was all it took? At least for me this just doesn’t set the stage for a whimsical romance.

True devotion a la Google searching is currently most associated with Buddhism followed by Christianity (I guess most churches don’t pay SEO companies to optimize their sites). When searching on Scholar, I discovered analyses and theories of what constitutes “caring”, “love”, etc. Not surprisingly, the relationship literature was void of anything that had to do with circus-like demonstrations or even things that could be defined as gallant.  These articles spoke about commitment, honestly, loyalty, trust, and most importantly time; a far cry from the Louis Vuitton bag or Bling that so many I have personally heard say they deserve if their man is truly devoted to and loves them.

Over the years I have hallucinated that devotion was many things: grocery store flowers, a Charlie the Tuna Fish shirt (I tried not to read too much into that one), an outfit from my favorite store, or  jewelry. Unfortunately, likely not.  I have learned that money via checks in the mail, romantic promises of amazing future vacations (think sweet nothings and concentrate on the word “future”), and acting extremely possessive of me in front of my father (and even starting a fight with him to protect my honor, which is still brought up at family gatherings) are most definitely not.
So what equals true devotion? Is it tales of a strenuous under 20 minute battle with a kettle bell (“I like looking good for you babe”)? Is it cute texts littered with love emojis
(kiss, kiss, hug, heart, weird smiley face with hearts for eyes x 3. Wow! He like really super loves me! It truly doesn’t get much better than that right?)?  Is it the trendy “push present” that is often exorbitant and for something that is going to hopefully happen no matter what (i.e. the baby has to come out anyway right?)?

de·vo·tion [dih-voh-shuhn] noun

1.profound dedication; consecration.
2.earnest attachment to a cause, person, etc.
3.an assignment or appropriation to any purpose, cause, etc.:the devotion of one’s wealth and time to scientific advancement.
4.Often, devotions. Ecclesiastical . religious observance or worship; a form of prayer or worship for special use.
Personally I like #2.

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