The road signs of dating: The roadkill that was kissed at midnight

5 Jan

It is always my dream on New Year’s Eve to have a date, someone to kiss. In my fairytale world the guy who takes you on a date on new year’s is a guy that really likes you. right? Unfortunately not necessarily.

When I was spinning my most recent tale of relationship catastrophe to my father last night his response was, “I doubt he wanted to hurt your feelings. Guys don’t want to hurt girls, they just want them on their backs.” Excellent dad. In fairytale world that just can’t be true. In reality I am afraid it might be.

I should have known. The signs were there, but I did it, I decided to go to NYC to escape the doldrums of my current city with the added benefit of seeing the guy I have been dating long distance for now over 8 months.

The Hazard Signs

No passing lane: When I texted him initially that I might come up to the city. His response was not to respond to that, but to talk about something else.

Slippery When wet: When I asked him why he ignored the previously mentioned text he said he didn’t

know what he was doing yet and so far he had no plans and might not do anything. Nothing screams “I am really excited to see you like first getting ignored and then getting noncommittal.”

Mexican family crossing the Highway (one of my favorite all time roadside at the Cali/Mexican border):  We both get a group text from a mutual friend asking us to an evening of splendor and extravagance that I am immediately incredibly uninterested in. He actually texts asking if I am going to do that. When I say I would rather not he says that we can hang out together and he will ask some friends and we can do something more low key.

10% grade (your brakes may fail): He does let me know he is making plans but then doesn’t return my attempts at contacting him the two days before New Year’s Eve. I texted twice in 36 hours asking what our plans were.

Dip: I end up texting on New Year’s Day (when he finally answers the texts from above) asking him if we are going to spend the night together (just so you know I blushed with humiliation as I type this). In my defense, if there is one, I really didn’t want to be the dirty stay out in the cab the next morning. My sage, married sister suggested that I just come home. Who would have thought of that? Not me, the dirty stay out (or as we abbreviated it in college: DSO).  Also you would think after 8 months it would be assumed.

Do Not Enter: He says I have made our relationship “too easy” and “should have played hard to get”. He then asks me if I am sleeping with one of my friends saying he wouldn’t be upset. I would almost rather have had him slap me… twice.

Road worker with a stop sign: When we wake up New Year’s Day he says he wasn’t into our date at first and always prefers hanging out with a large group of friends on NYE but had a good time. “It worked out for the best.”

Red light: New Year’s Day when my flight is changed to the next day also known as my birthday, he says he already has plans to watch bowl games with 3 girls and doesn’t really feel comfortable asking me to come although he has invited everyone he has even had half of a conversation with all day.

So I lived my New Year’s Eve dream. I got kissed on New Year’s at midnight for the 2nd time ever and the first time in over 10 years, and for that 30 seconds it was amazing and I was able to ignore all of the signs and just feel like I was in a movie (like When Harry Met Sally) and I was the star; not a moment I have had very often. And while I was in my land of beautiful and romantic delusion, I loved it. The difficulty then becomes how do you keep one foot in reality while you float in the dream?

The date: New Year’s Eve dinner, rum, a concert, and a New Year’s midnight kiss.

The Boy: I rarely think about anyone or thing other than myself unless it directly affects me. This will result in oversharing, harsh thoughts and ideas and a general dissolution of any warm fuzzes that you are trying to conjure up in your mind.

Stay tuned for: Birthday Bowl


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